all i hear is blah blah blah

How on earth do boys/men with bad acne shave?

That’s gotta hurt like a bitch!

I gotta give him mad props though.

He got jail time for pretending to be a doctor and giving door to door breast exams.

Get your freak on Gramps!!

I looooove frozen burritos. I buy that family pack and act like I’m still 19, in college - with just a microwave and a little fridge/freezer combo.

These days I totally class them up with some sour cream though.

Cause I’m a grown up!

My 4 year old is apathetic about learning apparently (per my mother). She calls it “dummying down”

He wants to play *gasp* instead of doing schoolwork.

How do I explain that is normal?

My 4 year old has stinky armpits.

Is this normal?

I’m out of my element here with a boy child.

But I gotta say, mama was really relieved that it wasn’t her that smelled like a construction worker in florida in 100 degree heat who hasn’t showered in 3 days.

I seriously need a hug

My inability to sleep tonight is going to majorly kick my ass tomorrow.

Sigh

So I did.

Changed my name.

Now the family members who like to report on my subversive actions will have a harder time tracking me.

Mwah hahahhaha.

*rubs hands together*

What’s that medicine that makes you get up in the middle of the night and eat the contents of your fridge??

I don’t take it.

But I’m totally blaming it on the fact that I just ate a shit-ton of pumpkin pie an hour after I went to bed.

What? I couldn’t sleep

On my way home from work a man on a bicycle rode across the street in front of my van.

I didn’t see him.

He was dressed in head to toe camouflage.

I want to punch her in the fucking throat!

This concludes my angry message.

Next up, let’s see if you all get the joke…

My mom is watching ice skating with my kid. Encouraging him to check out the girls. She worries that he will become gay.

Pretty sure that watching ice skating beats the pants off his occasional wanting to play with a Barbie in the “gay making” category.

If there really was such a thing.

I’m feeling very sorry for myself today.

Financial challenges (i.e. this suck ass economy in this depression-era we live in) forced me to make the decision to move in with my mom.

The process was complete yesterday. This involved bringing my chest freezer full of food to her house and setting it up.

Only problem is that the person who plugged it in to the power cord flipped the switch to “off”. So my freezer full of food has been sitting here since yesterday not on. In Florida.

Upon discovering this, I turned it back on and figured I’d have to get rid of a lot of the food cause hello. Not frozen!

My sensitve mother then ripped into me for “leaving to let someone else have to deal with my responsibilities” (I was taking yet another one of my animals to the shelter since I’m not allowed to keep them here AND the scheduling of the move was made by her - coincidentally at the exact same time I had an appointment set up to take said cat to the shelter). When I said that I would have to throw food out I got “YOU are NOT a victim here”

Far cry from the loving phone call I heard her on last night to my SIL who up until her surgery last week she bitterly hated.

And let me tell you how much I missed writing on here. I made the mistake of venting once on FB about something and within a day all of my rat fink siblings had called and told her what I had said (embelished to make it sound worse)

But for now I’m holding back the tears and wondering if doubling up on my Lexapro would be such a bad idea. Or hitting that bottle of wine in the fridge. Which also is a problem for her. I love being 35 years old and allocated one half of a shelf in the fridge… and having that shelf searched and rude comments made about it.

8 months and counting

My mom recently underwent surgery. For days after this surgery she talked to me like a human being, told me she loved me, etc.

Now however her “I lived through it” good vibes must have worn off so I get nothing but the eye rolls, rude comments and silent treatment.

Happy fuckin holidays to me!